The One With the Social Prayer

            I would like to start by thanking you for inviting me to give a Social Prayer this evening. I am honoured and excited to be up here this evening.

This past year or so has been considerably hard on us all. As an extravert and someone who actively seeks discomfort, not being able to leave my house, meet with friends, go to gigs or events, or explore museums has made it difficult for me to get what I want out of life. Everything was moved online for part of the year. I streamed a few seminars, a concert or two, and I even visited the Museum of Modern Art all from my laptop. The one big thing that I did that was analogue, as opposed to digital, was when I packed up a suitcase, jumped on a plane, and started life in a new country. Covering a distance of nearly 4,000 miles to arrive at Radley just in time to start the second lockdown followed by the third and back to living digitally. 

Let me pose a question. Is it worth doing things in analogue anymore? Is it worth our time, money, energy, and trouble to go to Paris and see the Louvre? You don’t need to do that, you simply need to go online and you can get high quality images of the paintings from the masters, or do some extensive research into the history of a piece. I could probably learn more from a good hour of online research than I would by spending an hour at the Louvre. I could watch a Youtube video from a well-known art historian explaining why DaVinci decided to use the colour palette he used for the Mona Lisa, something that I likely wouldn’t get at the museum. But as I’ve been made well aware of by the French assistants here at Radley, that is the wrong thing to say. I would argue that what makes the investment of time, money, energy and trouble worth it to visit the Louvre is the experience.

You didn’t invite me here though to hear an American talk to a bunch of boys at an English boarding school about a French museum. I was instead invited to talk about “Things in the UK as an American that just make sense” but I’m not going to talk about that no matter how much you would love to hear about the fact that duvet covers aren’t frequently used in the States. Instead, I am going to talk about why I decided to come here and stay here longer than the original plan.

Because I arrived at a point in time where being a tourist isn’t really a thing, I instead just began to live, and honestly, I think that it has been the best decision I didn’t have to make. I didn’t just get to see life in the U.K. as most Americans who pass through do, instead, I have been able to experience life here. I am a firm believer that you don’t get to understand a place until you can experience it. My first time in Oxford I visited the Ashmolean, Christ Church college and the Bodleian Library. “Touristy” things by nature. Since then I have been to Oxford plenty more times. I’ve visited little shops off of the high street, had a meal at a little cafe, and have been able to really get a feel for the city. I feel that I’ve been able to really experience Oxford.

American writer Henry Miller once said, “One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.” When I purchased a ticket to visit Stonehenge during the May bank holiday, I didn’t want to just go see a pile of rocks where some ancient people realised that Jenga isn’t a game for 25-tonne stones. I wanted to experience the history, learn about the construction and the ancient people. I didn’t expect to be one of maybe 20 people around the monument, and I definitely didn’t expect to share a song about Stonehenge with my friend Ben in front of the monument. After a short hike away from Stonehenge, we found another neolithic circle called Woodhenge where we were practically the only ones there. Overall what I learned and the experiences I gained visiting Stonehenge mean more to me than being able to say “I saw Stonehenge.” 

There is a difference between seeing and experiencing something. And that difference is mindset. So let me challenge you to not see things as you go through life, but instead, try to experience them. I decided not to tell you about the differences between the U.S. and the U.K. even though I do have a decent list. I chose instead to encourage you to get out and find those differences on your own. I challenge you to try things you never thought you would, observe the world around you, and most importantly talk to people. Doing your research is great, but I guarantee anyone who has first-hand experience will tell you more than any research document you can find. With that, if you would like to learn more about the differences between the U.S. and the U.K., reach out and ask, I would love to tell you all about it sometime.